1.  Adele – why is that girl so down on life?  Isn’t she like 22?  Good god, please watch a sunrise or something.  She’s killing me

2.  Jane Austen – She’s my favorite author but my life resembles hers. not her characters (except maybe that bitch Emma), and reading or watching that stuff isn’t helping anyone.  They are all Wickham’s and Willoughby’s – Darcy is the greatest fictional stretch there’s ever been.  Go away, Jane, we both know there’s no happy ending.

3.  Literally anything on my iPod – why do I only buy music when I’m drunk?  And is there nothing inbetween 50 Cent and Jason Mraz?  Why can’t I buy age appropriate music?