“Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.” Oscar Wilde

2 Stupid Things That Happened Today

–        I’m certainly not above bribing people to like me and talk to me in a new job.  Not even a little.  I started keeping a big bowl of candy – and GOOD candy – on my desk and suddenly I’m very popular.  When I come back to the office after traveling people stop by and ask if I can keep my door unlocked.  Um, no, I’m in HR and it’s very likely I have your termination paperwork right on my keyboard (kidding!).  Today after lunch I came back to this –

I very much appreciate the “please” in the corner

someone took a damn post it from my desk, and used my damn pen to suggest that I buy Jolly Ranchers.  I can’t decide if I’m going to run out and get some because that is hilarious… or if I’m never (ever, ever) going to get them because that is obnoxious.  I’m leaning towards buying them.

–        My IT guy came by to talk (load up on candy, but I was here so he had to talk) and he had a brand new pretty iPhone 5 with him.  I have no idea what happened, but I saw it and kind of blacked out.  I grabbed it out of his hand and said “WANT”.  I wish I were kidding, but that just happened.  I need some Xanax.

WANT

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