pretty much

So you can consider this written permission to put a bullet in my brain if I start turning into a zombie, which should be like, any time now. I am so sick; I don’t remember ever being this sick. Actually today is so much better than yesterday I can barely stand it. Yesterday I was kind of crazy – I was so dizzy all day and I could not settle down because of course I am sensitive to all drugs, so I was restless and miserable from the medicine. Today I am just exhausted and miserable, which is sort of a step up.

Luckily, Scully is home and feeling fine, on a modified diet (and of course miserable about that) but he is absolutely no help. At one point yesterday I yelled “I cleaned up your vomit for 5 days and you can’t even go get me some orange juice?” so… yeah, weird.

For me, feeling awful is a nice time to be in a relationship. In the beginning, anyway, when they bring you soup and draw you a bath and tell you that you look fine – even though you both know you look like a murderer that Charlize Theron once portrayed in that movie. That would be nice, but luckily I have a couple of friends that can take care of me when I really need it – except the telling me I look fine part, I got a very firm “you look like shit” but whatever, saltines are saltines. Back to the couch.