I took my first Barre class on Saturday. If you aren’t familiar, this is a newish exercise class that is kind of a combination of yoga and ballet. I do yoga a lot and I have loved ballet my whole life, so it sounded pretty great. I heard from a few friends that it is really good and that I would love it and that I should try it, and that having worked out 4-6 times a week for the last six months, I was definitely in shape enough to do well. Having hit a kind of plateau in my weight loss venture, I decided to listen to these friends and give it a try. These friends, it turns out, are lying liars who lie. In true me fashion, I did not just try the class, I signed up for ten classes – like a big old idiot. Perhaps after the 4th or 5th class I might be able to walk again, but this remains to be seen.

This class is not exactly a mix of yoga and ballet – I can only describe it realistically as three times harder than yoga, and one-third as much fun as ballet. You might also describe it as torture. The instructor is very enthusiastic, but all the enthusiasm in the world cannot make up for the fact that she is an evil dictator and we all know it. So, today I can barely walk, my abs hurt so much I could barely get dressed, and my only friend in the world is Advil, but I will take all ten classes and I will get in better shape or face the very real possibility that I will just die trying.