“We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.” David Mamet

I need some fucking pie

I need some fucking pie

I just handed my IT guy my headset, in three pieces, and said “this broke.” He looked at it and said “did you throw it against the wall?” I said, “Of course not, don’t be stupid.” Because, I did not throw it against the wall. I threw it on the floor. And then ran over it with my chair. Plus, it’s obviously not well made.

I have so much to do that I am incapable of doing anything. You know those people who can balance stuff? You know, they do a lot but not all at the same time? Yeah, no. I have willingly taken on a thousand things, in some hideous misguided attempt to be helpful or to look good to people I really do not care about, and I am definitely paying for it. I tried to make a list, but it made my stomach hurt. So I am now on Plan B. Plan B is very calming and involves me eating some almonds while I look out my window and think about Spain. Plan B is going to get me fired and an “incomplete” on this week’s assignment, but I feel a lot better.


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