Yikes

I should probably stop eating like I am a thirteen year old with absentee parents. I’m not usually like this but for some reason since I’ve been back from vacation, I can’t get back into normal eating habits.

I took two barre classes on Saturday because I was feeling disgusting, which was nice at the time but now I literally cannot climb stairs. My friend had a birthday party Saturday night, which was ‘80’s themed and my other friend suggested that we dress up like that ridiculous picture you see above and dance to ‘Simply Irresistible’ on command. I agreed quickly because I hate having to think up costumes and how bad could it be? It hit me Saturday afternoon that I probably should have tried to do some kind of cleanse or something in order to feel more comfortable in this dress, but I was already halfway through a Rubio’s burrito when I thought of it so what the hell, I finished it. I compensated for feeling weird about being half naked all night by drinking a lot of wine, a surefire solution.

Yesterday I was mildly hung over and majorly heavy hearted, but I dragged myself off the couch to go to my cousin’s ninth birthday party. Why? Because I love him. Obviously. Because the rest of my family would be there. Obviously. But also… I heard there were going to be hot wings. Obviously. Buffalo chicken wings are one of the great passions of my life, I am very sorry to tell you. As pathetic as that sounds, it is true. And I am totally embarrassed to order them in a restaurant, because I am not a 19 year old boy, so I never eat them. But if they are just there – well, it’s a good reason to get off the couch. I had one beer and four of the hottest wings (I was either going to be instantly cured or I was going to instantly throw up – high risk, high reward) and then felt better. I then sat at a table with my cousins and aunts eating popcorn I did not want and saying “anyway, I’m going to go home” approximately every fifteen minutes for five hours. Then I went home, where there is all kinds of fresh food, and decided that I was much too tired to cook any of it and went back out and drove through Green Burrito for a taco salad (Because, salad) and this helped nothing.

Today has been better, but I really need to pull it together. Tomorrow, maybe.