Oh god this is a cat blog. Actually let’s call this Scully’s Last Stand, because this cat has one more chance to change my mind about his actual worth vs. the worth of my condo and the entirety of its contents. So far, it’s not looking so good for gato. Anyway, yesterday in a fit of psychotic but ultimately misguided hopefulness, I purchased this.

Don’t judge me

I paid actual American dollars for it. No, seriously, I did. This, if you are unfamiliar with all the ways in which I am willing to throw my money away, is a diffuser that you plug into the wall and this happens:

“Comfort Zone with Feliway products disperse an odorless vapor mimicking cat calming pheromones. These pheromones signal to your cat that the area is friendly and safe, reducing your cat’s need to spray and scratch.”

Yeah, I know, actually. You see, it’s an odorless vapor that mimics cat calming pheromones. I am 80% sure that I read most of an article lately about how possibly all pheromones are not even a real thing, but I bought it anyway. I brought it to the counter at PetCo and said to the 18 year old working her summer job “does this work?” and she said “I have no idea” so I said “Sold!” Good job, Ashley!

I will say this, while “odorless” turns out to be a wild exaggeration, Scully was remarkably calm all night and this morning so at this point I am willing to believe anything.