Pizza is better than this

For no reason at all except that sometimes I tire of eating like a twelve year old, I went on a sort of juice sort of cleanse today. Sort of. Meaning, not at all, but I did have juice for lunch and it was insane. Like two pounds of kale and cucumber juiced into a cup with ice and cayenne pepper for $6.99 insane. What? I don’t know. Either way, my stomach would really like me to rethink it. Combine this with the fact that I am supposedly off coffee again, it’s really looking like pizza for dinner. Yesterday, my doctor told me that she thinks coffee is my problem (this tells you how little she knows about my problems) and has banned me from it. Fine. I have (in my head) now bargained that down to every other day – which if you think about it is a 50% increase in good behavior (arithmetic) so I just don’t even know anymore. I had tea this morning, where’s my Nobel?

Also I came home early to take the kitten to the vet – big couple days for health in this house – I’ve been calling this Vin Scully’s Last Stand. Affectionately. Meaning, if there is not something fixable wrong with this beast, he might be on the wrong side of a PetSmart Saturday adoption pretty soon. I kid. Sort of. Anyway, it will shock no one to hear that there is nothing wrong with this cat except his attitude. Maybe he needs juice.