Like this but with more weeping

Lies my barre teacher tells:

1. You can do it (sometimes I really can’t)
2. We’re only going to do an eight count here (bitch can not count)
3. We’re almost done (this is blatant – she starts saying that 12 minutes into a 60 minute class. Almost is very relevant with this girl but I know how to tell time)
4. Eight count here (again, but different – this is when she says eight count but then only counts every third time we do something – that’s a 24 count, if you’re playing along at home)
5. I need you to give me more (she is flattering me by thinking there is more to give)
6. I can tell you were a good dancer (don’t try to be nice to me, I’m not going any higher on my relevé)
7. My name is Emily (probably)

I hate her with a white-hot heat. But I do have to give her props for even making me consider wearing white jeans and a bathing suit not made in 1988.