For real, tigers

I just don’t know anything anymore.

I want to go to Brazil. But I do not want to go to a soccer game in Brazil where the referee ejects a player, the player argues, and the referee pulls out a knife and kills him. This seems bad, worse even than when the San Francisco Giants come to Los Angeles. But it gets worse, because after the referee killed the player, the fans came out onto the pitch. Are they going to kill him in revenge? Well, yes, but you are not thinking big enough – in fact they cut his body into four pieces and stuck his head on a post. I know you think I am talking about the Game of Thrones, but I am talking about this past weekend in the world we live in now.

In Cairo they are killing people in the streets and calling it a Revolution. And in Indonesia, five people were just rescued after being literally hunted by tigers for five days. Tigers! And two planes crashed.

I think what I am saying is that no one really cares about the fact that I woke up with an allergic reaction that has my eyes nearly swollen shut. Or that I’m mildly depressed, even after a pretty good weekend. I spent the last couple of days up in LA visiting with Bibi and Edd, where they gently pointed out that I was being a bummer by nicknaming me BTT (Bun’s Too Tight) and keeping a running list of everything that I complained about (fireworks, people who call me on-drea, hipsters, popsicles that fall apart before you can finish them.) When they say it out loud, it does sound whiny, but I am sure everything I said was still funny.

I’m working on having perspective. It’s pretty easy to lose perspective when you are just living your life; fairly certain that soccer fans are not going to impale your head on a spike, and tigers will not follow you home. It’s also easy to get lost in perspective, and get anxious and scared about the world, because OHMYGODYOUGUYSTIGERS. Today I have found the best way to balance perspective is to go through every inch of Google’s street view of Diagon Alley while on a stressful conference call. Pick your poison, today mine is Harry Potter.
https://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=Diagon+Alley+at+Warner+Bros.+Studio+Tour+London,+Warner+Bros.+Studio+Tour+London,+Studio+Tour+Drive,+Leavesden&hl=en&ll=51.690882,-0.417287&spn=0.004835,0.013411&sll=51.689718,-0.417566&layer=c&cid=10355248391383225485&panoid=u1gcE6cVKELE_xgImwtVHQ&cbp=13,274.23,,0,-1.66&hq=Diagon+Alley+at+Warner+Bros.+Studio+Tour+London,+Warner+Bros.+Studio+Tour+London,+Studio+Tour+Drive,+Leavesden&t=h&z=17&cbll=51.690875,-0.417249