My birthday is this week. I am dreading it while actively trying not to dread it. So far, it’s not going that well. I keep telling myself that I am going to have a nice birthday – and I AM. I am going to work at a job I like all day, and then I’m going to have dinner with three friends I love and it IS going to be nice. Why am I dreading it? Who really cares anyway? I’m not turning 16, it’s really not that big of a deal, and I would like to be less overwhelmed with landmarks. I would love to not obsess about last year (where I waited on pins and needles to see if he would show up because he had an “appointment” in LA that he couldn’t possibly f-ing reschedule, but he did show up and we had a lovely dinner) or the year before (where it was all grossly awesome and romantic and we had a lovely dinner) and just enjoy my g-d burrito. See what I did there? I obsessed.
Any-who. My stupid birthday is the day after stupid Halloween. When I was really little, I am pretty sure my parents told me that the whole trick or treat thing was actually for my birthday which accounts for their weirdness and my narcissism in one nice little package, doesn’t it? I’m not the kind of girl who wears costumes – I never have been – but I am the kind of girl to make up fake costumes and tell people I wore them to a party I did not actually attend. Somehow this is less anxiety inducing and is a little bit fun to watch the face of a coworker or friend as they try to work out what me in a Wonder Woman costume actually looks like.
I will spend Halloween this year like I have every year for as long as I can remember – with my family. My awesome aunts have this great party every year where Dawn makes this chili I crave all year and someone else makes martinis and we sit in their cul de sac and hand out candy and take turns walking around the neighborhood with the kids. Most of the family will be there and it is always fun, and at some point they sing happy birthday to me and I usually live through it. Also, Laura usually makes me two cupcakes without icing because I’m weird and that’s what I want, and it’s a lot of fun. As always, I will dress up as a functional adult who has her shit together, hope I can pull it off!